Oct. 8, 2014

SHE SAID

SHE SAID ALOT OF THINGS TO ME. I DON'T KNOW IF I WAS DEAF, BLIND, OR, IF THE THINGS SHE SAID JUST WASN'T THAT IMPORTANT TO ME. SHE SAID SHE LOVED ME BUT IT MUST HAVE WENT OVER MY HEAD. HER HOME GIRL SAID SOMETHING SIMILAR WHEN WE WERE IN BED.  SHE SAID SOMETHING ABOUT COMMITMENT AND SOMETHING ABOUT THE TRUTH. SHE SAID THAT I NEEDED TO GROW UP AND BE A MAN, INSTEAD OF RUNNING WILD AND LOOSE.  SHE SAID SHE KNEW I WAS CHEATING AND SOMETHING ABOUT HAVING PROOF. SHE SAID SHE WAS TRYING TO BE PATIENT AND SOMETHING ABOUT NOT KNOWING WHAT TO DO. SHE SAID SOMETHING ABOUT ME BEING CHILDISH AND DOING WHAT BOYS DO. THEN SHE RECIEVED A PHONE CALL AND SAID,  "HEY BOO HOW ARE YOU; SO, WHAT DO WE HAVE PLANNED FOR THE NIGHT?" THEN THERE WAS A BRIEF SILENCE BEFORE SHE REPLIES, "IS THAT WHAT YOU WANT ME TO DO BOO?" IS THIS WOMAN CRAZY OR IS SHE TRYING TO MAKE ME GO THROUGH THE ROOF? SHE'S TALKING ABOUT CHEATING, AND HAVING PROOF. WELL THEN, WHAT THE HELL WOULD YOU CALL THIS? I'LL SHOW HER, CHILDISH; MAN, I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS! THEN SHE HAS THE NERVE TO END THE CALL WITH HIM BEFORE LEANING OVER TO GIVE ME A KISS. I SWARE, SHE BETTER BE LUCKY THAT I DON'T SOLVE MOST OF MY PROBLEMS WITH A CLINCHED FIST. SUDDENLY I BLACK OUT FOR A MOMENT. I CAN'T DETERMINE IF I AM DREAMING OR AWAKE! ALTHOUGH, MY HEART FEELS LIKE IT'S NOT BEATING ANYMORE SO, THIS CAN'T BE FAKE. IN MY HEAD I SCREAM, NOMORE!  I HAVE THE URGE TO STRANGLE HER BEFORE SHE HAS THE CHANCE TO WALK OUT OF THE DOOR. THEN OUT OF NOWHERE TEARS BEGIN TO FALL FROM MY EYES. LORD PLEASE HELP ME, I JUST CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE! THERE ARE SO MANY NAMES THAT I WOULD LIKE TO CALL HER. WHAT KILLS ME THE MOST IS THAT SHE TRIED TO GIVE ME A KISS. SHE MUST REALLY THINK THAT I AM  SOME KIND OF SUCKER.  HOWEVER, NOW, LOOKING BACK IN HINDSIGHT AT SOME POINT IN TIME I MUST HAVE MADE HER FEEL LIKE THIS. SHE SAID SO MANY THINGS BUT I WOULD HAVE NEVER IMAGINED HER DOING SOMETHING, QUITE LIKE THIS.